[Rockhounds] Henny Youngman Lives!

[Pmodreski at aol.com]

Fun!
 
(not that I have any idea who Henny Youngman is/was) (have we been through  
this before on the List?)
 
:  )
 
Pete
 
 
 
In a message dated 10/3/2009 1:37:54 P.M. Mountain Daylight Time,  
larryrush at worldnet.att.net writes:

Mineral  Puns That Henny Youngman threw out....







A chunk  of Halite walks into a Police Station , and reported that he was  
assaulted.



A mineral collector walks into a bar with a pail  of crushed limestone, and

says "I'll have a beer, please, and one for  the road".



A Chemist trying to create a transparent mineral  stirred Calcite into 
Sulphuric Acid, but the result was nothing to look  at.



A mineral collector fell off of a  quarry wall, and suffered serious 
injuries.

He  woke up in the hospital and cried "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my  
legs!"

The Doctor replied "I know, that's  because we had to amputate both of 
your

arms."



What do you call a fish fossil with  no eyes?

A fsh fossl.



A Chlorine ion bumps into an Iron ion on the street and the Chlorine  
says

Are you all Right?.... No, I lost an electron.  Are you 
sure?.........Yes, I'm positive!




My portable UV light went dead, so I took it to the hardware  store, and 
got new    batteries, but they didn't work. No wonder  they were "free of 
charge"!  Still, I was "delighted". (My counselor  suggested I find another 
outlet for any anger).



I asked the  bookseller if my latest Fleischer Mineral Species issue was 
guaranteed.and  he said  "Obsoletely!"



I really didn't want to rappel down  the Swiss Alp to find the Fluorite 
pocket, but I was roped into it. (To  appreciate rope jokes, you have to be 
taut!)



Did you hear  the joke about the prehnite pocket high up the side of the 
quarry wall?  NO? Well, it was over your head, anyway!



Taking your children  mineral collecting often puts them on their pest  
behavior.



A collecting friend got lost in a mine, but used  his cell phone to reach 
me 
at the adit. That was a close  call!



I was wondering why the falling piece of ledge was  getting bigger and 
bigger. Then it hit me!



The rockhound  sat down on his chisel and got a little behind in his 
collecting  efforts!



He was arrested for throwing dynamite down the mine  shaft, but when they 
saw 
his gold specimens, they dropped the  charges.



In a recession, the mineral collecting business is  always picking up.



Old mineral collectors never die..they just  slowly petrify!



My digging buddy wanted to join me in my hole,  so I gave him an inch and 
he 
became a ruler!



Mineral  collecting is a lot like paying taxes.you work hard and end up in 
the  hole!



While collecting minerals in California, there was an  earthquake and two 
of 
my banking friends went into  default!



I would like to go mineral collecting in Holland some  day, wouldn't shoe?



(Smile...life is not ALL about Health Care  Reform!!)



Larry








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