[Rockhounds] New Year's Resolutions

[Lawrence Rush]

It's that time of year again................

My New Year's Collecting Resolutions- 2009

Larry Rush

ConnRoxMinerals.com



  1.. I resolve not to lecture the DEP officer as to who REALLY owns the 
state land on which I was collecting .  (Last year's fine- $70)


  2.. I resolve to always check to be sure the toilet tissue is included in 
my           collecting buckets.  (Last year's result- soreness from oak 
leaves)


  3.. In the event I again forget resolution #2, I resolve to always count 
the number of leaves on the tissue substitute. (Last year's result- ungodly 
itching,  my doctor's humiliating laughter, and permanent notes in my 
medical records)


  4.. I resolve to never again use motor oil as an emergency substitute for 
insect repellent. (Last year's result-a 2 week rash following 3 straight 
showers and Lysol soap)


  5.. I resolve never to make the "one last" hammer trimming blow on a 
prized crystal specimen. (Last year's result- a worthless pile of fragments 
instead of First Prize in the club's show exhibit)


  6.. I resolve to never again show my daughter that a senior citizen can 
still leap over a barbed wire fence while walking to the garnet mine (Last 
year's result- torn pants, ripped buttocks which she had to disinfect and 
bandage, and a source of scornful tales that will never end at family 
get-togethers)


  7.. I resolve to pay closer attention to the road signs posted at the wood's 
edge near my favorite pegmatite. (Last year's result- $70 towing charge, a 
reprint in my club's bulletin from the local newspaper's "Police Blotter", 
and my subsequent resignation as Field Trip Chairman.)


  8.. I resolve not to use my 5 foot, 50 pound railroad pry bar as a hiking 
staff while climbing a quarry wall ( Last year's result- broken femur, 
ambulance ride, $2370 Emergency Room charges, and no new calcites from that 
site)


  9.. In the event that I am unable to follow these resolutions completely, 
my wife also resolves to limit my collecting in 2009 to the Springfield Show 
while in her direct line of sight at all times.