[Rockhounds] Mineral Parables

[Brenda Van Dyke]

ahhh 'groaners!'  I LOVE 'em!

On 11/19/08, Lawrence Rush <larryrush at worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>
> Not much happening on the list...time for a little humor (?)
>
> MINERAL PUNS and PARABLES
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> King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with
> the Hittites. His last great possession was a Star Ruby from India, the most
> valuable Ruby in the world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker,
> to ask for a loan.
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> Croesus said "I'll give you 100,000 Dinars for it."
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> "But I paid a million Dinars for it", the King protested. "Don't you know
> who I am? I am the King!"
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> Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, it makes no difference who
> you are."
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> _______________________________________________________
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> In Mexico in the 1700's, the owners of the Zacatecas Silver mines hired
> local couriers to deliver their platy silver to Mexico City for smelting.
> One such courier didn't show up at Mexico City after a long time, so the
> owner sent trackers out to find out what happened to him. When the trackers
> returned and reported to the owner, they had only one thing to tell him.
>
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> "He who has the plates is lost!"
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> Two collectors went into a closed quarry on a Sunday afternoon for some
> illegal collecting. They had no luck, and feeling frustrated and angry, they
> broke into the quarry office and stole all of the toilets and urinals,
> leaving no clues. The police came on Monday and investigated the crime and
> left with no arrests. The quarry manager then had to tell his staff, "We
> have absolutely nothing to go on!"
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> The head witch doctor of a South American jungle tribe was trying to cure
> one of his tribal members of constipation. After trying all of the
> traditional medicines with no success, in desperation he ground up some fern
> fossils he was keeping for
>
> his most critical cases, and gave it to this patient. After a week, the
> patient returned, and the witch doctor asked him how it worked. The man
> looked him straight in the eye and said,
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> "Doc, with fronds like this, who needs enemas!"
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> At a brick-making pit in old Colorado, the foreman used to use a stone
> outside his office to determine if the weather was good enough to mine the
> raw material. If the stone had snow on it, it was too cold. If the stone was
> hot and dry, it was good for mining. If the stone was wet with rain, it was
> not. Which naturally led to the expression:
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> You should make Clay while the Sunstone shines!
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> At the lead mine in Kansas, miners had to carry their ore up the steep
> adits by hand. They were paid by the number of containers of Galena they
> brought out each day. It was a hard job, and they had to be careful not to
> lose their loads while climbing. No doubt this is where the saying came
> from..
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> Lead men don't spill pails!
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> Most people don't know that the Apache Indians were amateur mineralogists.
> One such Brave liked to keep beds in the teepees made out of locally
> collected stone. In one teepee, a squaw slept on a bed of Hypersthene. And
> in two other teepees, squaws slept on beds of Siderite. It happened that all
> 3 had papooses at about the same time, two had boys, and one had twin boys.
>
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>
> This goes to prove the theorem...
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> The squaw of the Hypersthene is equal to the sons of the squaws of the
> other two Siderites!
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> Please don't reprint without permission...Larry Rush
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> --
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>



-- 
Brenda Van Dyke, Editor
Arrowhead News
Indian Mounds Rock & Mineral Club
Wyoming, Michigan
www.indianmoundsrockclub.com
brenick at gmail.com


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